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Time to Kill

So I’m here at my hotel, and I’m so  SOOOOOOO  excited.  I love traveling.  It’s been a while since I’ve done left the home for an extended trip, so I am way hyped to have time alone in this little room.  My sisnlaw provided a bunch of magazines for me to read, I have my Bible, and there is a great view from my couch to the awesome looking pool.

Paint me content.

Tonight John and I will be eating with my brother and sisnlaw who live in Charlotte.  Since everyone else is still working, I get to roam the room, hotel and jacuzzi.

Woot!

Going On A Trip

I promise I did not forget!  I just got home from hanging out with my bro/sisnlaw/nieces all day long.  It was fantastic!

Earlier today I got a text from James Tatum, a.k.a. Tater.  This dude is not blood related to me, although he is blood related to my first cousins…we hang out like we are family.  For today’s Positive Post Tuesday, I want to talk about this friend of mine.

James loves people.  He goes out of his way many times to make sure that everyone feels included.  He opens the door to his house to friends so that they have a place to hang, fellowship, sleep…whatever is needed.  (Which, I must also shout out to his parents for supporting his community spirit.)

There is something really special about James.  Not only does he reach out to all people, he deeply feels any hurts or happinesses these people may feel.  James is a very protective and supportive guy.  If you need someone to cheer you on or to take a stand for you, James is your man.  I have seen him defend and protect every person in his life out of genuine love for each of them.

He’s been a great friend to me, pivotal in the upward emotional movement that occurred in my life a couple years ago.  As in, he made sure I had friends to hang out with  and that there was laughter in my life during a sad time.  Thanks, Tater.  You are true blue.

Make-overs are like going to the movies. It’s so exciting to anticipate a new story or how our favorite actors will interpret some plot. Make-overs switch things up and change people’s perspective about a person. I am semi-addicted to “What Not to Wear” and “How Do I Look?” for that very reason. I really enjoy seeing someone look at oneself in the mirror a different way and then gain new confidence.

I think that’s what forgiveness does, too. It changes the way we look at each other-and ourselves. It makes us over. It wipes the slate clean, enabling us to give each other chances we would not otherwise be willing to give. Forgiveness isn’t as easy as a physical make-over, though. It’s a journey. Some may find that journey a lot simpler than others, but in my experience it takes several steps to accomplish it.

In all honesty, I think many of us get to that step right before crossing the finish line and quit. Recently I watched an episode of “What Not to Wear” and noticed how the woman got to the hair cutting and couldn’t give up her locks. It was a part of her for so long that the change was too scary. She couldn’t bear to let go of it and embrace the full impact of the change. Stacy and Clinton both emphasized with her that even though she had come so far and learned so much, that last piece which she was unwilling to commit muted her new clothes and make-up. The woman shrugged her shoulders and stood her stubborn ground. She would not cut off her hair.

I mention this story only as an illustration how often we may get so close to that fresh, new start but stop just short of it. When we don’t fully forgive each other or ourselves, it affects the people surrounding us. It might be hard for us to accept and admit, but it keeps hurt floating in the air. Then at any sign of another offense, the past is easily pulled from above our heads and placed back into the present. It tortures us, and it hinders us from the freedom and reconciliation God wills for us.

On the flip side, look what forgiveness allows! Forgiveness provides opportunity of new perspective and new relationships. It teaches us that although in our humanity and confusion we all fail, we can survive. We can learn how to trust in a healthy, God-willed way. We can overcome seemingly insurmountable obstacles. We can learn something new altogether that we may have never learned had it not been for the need for forgiveness. That was a long sentence, I know. I apologize. My point is that forgiveness should not in any way open the door for more opportunities to offend. Even without forgiveness, offenses may occur. And this not to say that we should feel free to hurt someone again because we know that person will forgive it. Likewise, God does not give us grace so that sin may abound.

Forgiveness gives us a chance to start over and try it again with gained KNOWLEDGE. Sure, it’s not practical that the EFFECTS of our offenses are canceled out completely. Truly a ball will roll if we push it hard enough. How beautiful that God would teach us how to make the ball stop, though.

Today, I am the result of complete and undeserved forgiveness. For some of my offenses, I may never comprehend their impact. But I accept and am overjoyed with the impact of God’s grace. I will never be the same again. And that is EXACTLY the point. Exactly.

To forgive requires accepting change within ourselves as well as anticipating it in others. We cannot force change on others, but we can definitely help them embrace it by giving them the chance. Sometimes the confidence in that new start gets the ball rolling in the right direction.  It will definitely free our own hearts from the prison of bitterness.  It might be the scariest step we’ve ever had to take, but taking that last step will change us forever.

Yesterday I got to catch up with one of my best friends: Desireé Lulay. We rarely get to see each other; she’s living in New York right now, but she’s spent time in Pennsylvania and Tennessee and Ohio these last few years pursuing amazing musical avenues. The Lord has a special call on her life, and it is so exciting watching her bend to His leading. I was thinking about Kat’s question, and I immediately thought of Des.

Desireé and I have been friends since my sophomore year in college. She is presently performing in The Time of Mendel’s Trouble, a musical, at the Beckett Theater in New York. This musical is one of the presentations of the ministry of The Jeremiah Theatricals and will be showing from July 18th to August 2nd. She has really fun role in this Off-Broadway musical; the cast is in the middle of heavy rehearsals right now. I was happy to get to chat so much with her yesterday and today.

Desireé has had quite a bit of experience in the musical world, but she is also my classical music hero. Her voice has a brilliance and texture that will melt your ears. Her coloratura qualities are breathtaking. Last year, Des spent some time at the University of Tennessee pursuing her Masters degree. She had a fantastic role as Violetta in La Traviata, but some major health complications slowly hindered her schooling and rehearsal energy. Within her spring semester, she was diagnosed with Chiari, a neurological disorder. “Chiari malformations (CMs) are structural defects in the cerebellum, the part of the brain that controls balance.”

As she plays this new role Off-Broadway, God continues to shape Desireé’s voice and heart amidst seemingly impossible obstacles. Even though her body may fail her with this disease, God enables her to use her talent and spirit through open doors “to an otherwise closed-door public.” (DL, myspace bio) Classical music has had a great deal of impact on her present endeavors, and most likely we will see her singing more arias in the future in some exciting opera.

God bless you, my friend. May God steady your balance and support every need as you minister in your new role.

Actually they’ve sucked yesterday too.  Oh well.

The rain started pelting about an hour ago.  Kinda fits my mood.  I keep some cappuccino mix on hand, but Grandma was cleaning out the cabinets recently and misplaced it…it’s not a big deal, but it really made me cry.  I’m so ready to have my own place.  My brother and sisternlaw in in Charlotte are giving me a really great bed.

All my furniture (including my beloved piano) is disbursed between buildings and attics.  Seems like most of my belongings have been packed up for years.  Someday soon I will have a place to call my own….

until then, I will rejoice that I am fed and have a roof over my head.

Speaking of Charlotte…I’m heading there this Friday for a really exciting weekend.  I’ll be hanging with my friend John and will give a concert at his church Sunday evening.  Hopefully I’ll be moving this <- bed into his storage unit for safe keeping.  I’ve run out of room in the attic here.  Just because I don’t have a house doesn’t mean I don’t accumulate stuff.  LOL.

Maddie Turns 1

Ah, such an event. You can thank me for the faux hawk. As for the icing princess, that was all her. Happy Birthday, my sweet niece!!!!

I’m addicted to making bracelets now.  It’s easy, cheap, and time consuming.  Yay :)

My friend Tara Jackson just posted something you gotta check out. It’s great!!!!

Psalty’s Comeback!

3 New Songs

Today I spent some time in the “studio”, adding some strings and such to my 3 new songs…I’m pleased, although my “recording computer” cannot handle much more. I fixed some of the vocals too. I really wish I knew how to do this better, honestly, but for now this is how I can get these songs out. At least until my old Toshiba laptop dies with it’s Cool Edit Pro program. LOL. They are all pretty slowish, but I write a lot of ballads.

This one was written specifically for the BLESS Women’s Conference in September called With Your Love:

So here’s the song my brother Jordan and I wrote together called To The King:

And another worship song recently written for a service called Maker of Me:

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