Insomnia

Okay, it’s official.  I have succeeded to toss and turn for 4 full nights.  I do not understand why I cannot sleep!  I didn’t even have caffeine tonight.  In fact, I had less caffeine today than usual.   Do you ever go through periods of time where you cannot sleep?  Usually I have trouble falling asleep because of stress or excitement.  I have neither…so right now, I’m baffled and mad.  And yawning.  But the yawning doesn’t help me…it just further frustrates the situation, reminding me how tired I am even though I can’t seem to catch some z’s.

So let’s see, what should we talk about?  ….  Ugh.  I’ve got nothing on my mind.  Seriously, you’d think the blank cushion in my brain would pillow a nice snore.  Ah, well.  As the yawns progress a bit more rapidly, I guess I’ll attempt to at least close my eyes.

Tomorrow is a big day!  Weddings and dancing!  I’m stoked.

I Can Dream, Can’t I?

Please don’t jump to any conclusions when you read this post.  I’m not engaged.  My dear friend from youth is getting married on Saturday…a lot of my friends have had their special days come and go through the years.  So, I was joking around with the youth last night about “when I get married”.  We came up with some really great ideas.  I figure, every once in a while, it’s okay to dream. I’m a little “quirky”, so some of my ideas may seem odd, but to me it would be celebrating….here goes.

1.  Of course number 1 is still the dress.  I love the dress, I love the hair. Guess I should start growing mine out.  But I think I’d make the dress knee length.

2.  The place is important.  I want an outdoor wedding.  At a church.  The wedding and the reception would all be in one place.  It would take place at sunset-preferably in the autumn.

3.  The set-up would be totally simple.  No flowers.  No canopies.  No frou frou fabrics or bows.  I want to stretch “Christmas” lights and Japanese paper lanterns to light and mark off the area.  A dance “floor: lined with candles.  Tables covered in candles.  No sound system.  Totally “organic”.

4.  Music is important.  Acoustic guitar, string quartet, violin, flutes…every “place setting” would have a percussive instrument such as a shaker or bells or triangle to be used at leisure.  It would be totally laid back and celebratory.  No “typical” wedding music would be used.  I would love to have a string quartet play so my husband and I could waltz.  I love to dance.  If I had a more regular dancing partner, I think I could actually get pretty good.

5.  The service wouldn’t be much of a “service”.  It wouldn’t be long.  The only “intro” would be my entrance which wouldn’t be overdone.  I don’t like overdone.  It would contain a lot of prayer and a few stories.  I want to write my own vows.  I want to sing my vows…of course, I will probably write a song.  LOL.

6.  Everyone could come however they felt comfortable.  Shorts, dresses, jeans…it’s all good.  It’s a celebration!!!!  I think I’d like to have some bridesmaids and such….I’ve been thinking about that stuff too.  I know the colors I want:  black and fuscia.  Like, a simple black dress and a fuscia sash or shawl.  I don’t have any preference on what the guys wear.  I’ll leave that to my future husband’s desires.  :)  Of course, all of this is where I am now, being unattached, so any of it is up for debate I’m sure.  LOL.

7.  Ah, the fun part!  The food/drinks.  Okay, so I have to let you in a secret.  I typically detest cake. Every once in a while I like chocolate cake with chocolate icing.   I can pick out cakes that I think look awesome, like this one:

BUT!  I won’t eat it. And I truly wonder how many people really LIKE cake that come to weddings.  If I could have it my way, we would have a fondue fountain with regular and white chocolate to dip soft pretzels, strawberries, cherries, pastries, etc.  The food would be simple.  There would be fantastic punch, coffees, and teas.  People could eat/drink during the “ceremony”….there would be no “normal etiquette.”

8.  I guess that’s pretty much it.  *sighs*  We’ll see what happens.  But you can be sure of one thing…the day I get married, there will be much rejoicing.  :)  It will be so much fun, you have no idea.

Eternally

Had some technical difficulties today, but I got it done.  I really can’t wait to get these professionally recorded.  I wrote this for John….

Upon Request

John asked me if I would write him a song over the weekend…so this morning I felt inspired. I though instead of sharing the lyrics in normal fashion, I would share them with you in a fun way (thanks, Daniel Renstrom, for the idea and link.)

Positive Post Tuesday-Mint Hill Baptist Church

As I started typing some more info from my weekend in Charlotte, I realized today was Tuesday: PPT TIME!!! So…

let me share with you about Mint Hill Baptist Church. These people were so much fun…and so encouraging. I immediately felt at home with them. Their open arms and heart for Jesus was incredible. Pastor Lee Proctor spoke life into this congregation on Sunday. I’m excited to see what God does through these people in their community.

As you can see from this picture (that I “stole” from my new friend Kristin Walker’s facebook), they are a family. For years John and I had been praying for a church that could be a home for him, a place where he could pour into people and be poured into. He has overwhelmingly found that at Mint Hill Baptist Church. Not only has God led him to a place where he can lead in worship, he is surrounded by people who embrace him, encourage him, and hold him accountable. Wow. Before he took this job, we prayed and talked in length about his decision, and I remember specifically praying for those very things.

Look how God responded! Amazing! I praise Him…this has already affected John forever. Thanks, Mint Hill!

(For more about my time at Mint Hill, go here.)  This is all a part of Positive Post Tuesday by Brody Harper.

Mint Hill Rocks

See those shoes?  I know.  Where do you get shoes like these?  Seriously.  I love it.

I spent an amazing weekend in Charlotte/Mint Hill.  Jordan (my brother), Tara (my sisnlaw), John (friend) and I had a fantastic meal together and then we got my bed loaded up and sent off to the storage unit.  It was fun.  We waltzed in the parking lot of the storage unit a bit.  LOL.  I don’t know why.  It was just fun.

Saturday John and I ate brunch at Bob Evans where I had the best french toast I’ve ever had.  Soon after a jaunt through the mall and a rehearsal, we met two couples from Mint Hill Baptist Church.  We had SOOOO much fun!  One of the guys was the youth pastor and the other couple were the young adults sunday school teachers.  We ate at the Outback Steakhouse, then headed over to see Mamma Mia!   What a fun movie!  I laughed a LOT.

So today was the concert, and I tell you that congregation blessed my heart.  John and I played Super Mario cart on the Wii with Chase the youth pastor and his girlfriend Heather.  It was a GREAT way to spend the afternoon.  The concert went really well.  I started losing my voice part way through, but everyone gave me some really positive and encouraging feedback.  They really embraced the style and lyrics, which was neat to hear.  What really impacted me was how many people walked up to me with the lyrics in their hands, underlined with notes.  God is so faithful.

Thanks, Mint Hill, for making me feel like family.

Time to Kill

So I’m here at my hotel, and I’m so  SOOOOOOO  excited.  I love traveling.  It’s been a while since I’ve done left the home for an extended trip, so I am way hyped to have time alone in this little room.  My sisnlaw provided a bunch of magazines for me to read, I have my Bible, and there is a great view from my couch to the awesome looking pool.

Paint me content.

Tonight John and I will be eating with my brother and sisnlaw who live in Charlotte.  Since everyone else is still working, I get to roam the room, hotel and jacuzzi.

Woot!

Going On A Trip

Positive Post Tuesday-James Tatum

I promise I did not forget!  I just got home from hanging out with my bro/sisnlaw/nieces all day long.  It was fantastic!

Earlier today I got a text from James Tatum, a.k.a. Tater.  This dude is not blood related to me, although he is blood related to my first cousins…we hang out like we are family.  For today’s Positive Post Tuesday, I want to talk about this friend of mine.

James loves people.  He goes out of his way many times to make sure that everyone feels included.  He opens the door to his house to friends so that they have a place to hang, fellowship, sleep…whatever is needed.  (Which, I must also shout out to his parents for supporting his community spirit.)

There is something really special about James.  Not only does he reach out to all people, he deeply feels any hurts or happinesses these people may feel.  James is a very protective and supportive guy.  If you need someone to cheer you on or to take a stand for you, James is your man.  I have seen him defend and protect every person in his life out of genuine love for each of them.

He’s been a great friend to me, pivotal in the upward emotional movement that occurred in my life a couple years ago.  As in, he made sure I had friends to hang out with  and that there was laughter in my life during a sad time.  Thanks, Tater.  You are true blue.

To Forgive You-Chapter 14

Make-overs are like going to the movies. It’s so exciting to anticipate a new story or how our favorite actors will interpret some plot. Make-overs switch things up and change people’s perspective about a person. I am semi-addicted to “What Not to Wear” and “How Do I Look?” for that very reason. I really enjoy seeing someone look at oneself in the mirror a different way and then gain new confidence.

I think that’s what forgiveness does, too. It changes the way we look at each other-and ourselves. It makes us over. It wipes the slate clean, enabling us to give each other chances we would not otherwise be willing to give. Forgiveness isn’t as easy as a physical make-over, though. It’s a journey. Some may find that journey a lot simpler than others, but in my experience it takes several steps to accomplish it.

In all honesty, I think many of us get to that step right before crossing the finish line and quit. Recently I watched an episode of “What Not to Wear” and noticed how the woman got to the hair cutting and couldn’t give up her locks. It was a part of her for so long that the change was too scary. She couldn’t bear to let go of it and embrace the full impact of the change. Stacy and Clinton both emphasized with her that even though she had come so far and learned so much, that last piece which she was unwilling to commit muted her new clothes and make-up. The woman shrugged her shoulders and stood her stubborn ground. She would not cut off her hair.

I mention this story only as an illustration how often we may get so close to that fresh, new start but stop just short of it. When we don’t fully forgive each other or ourselves, it affects the people surrounding us. It might be hard for us to accept and admit, but it keeps hurt floating in the air. Then at any sign of another offense, the past is easily pulled from above our heads and placed back into the present. It tortures us, and it hinders us from the freedom and reconciliation God wills for us.

On the flip side, look what forgiveness allows! Forgiveness provides opportunity of new perspective and new relationships. It teaches us that although in our humanity and confusion we all fail, we can survive. We can learn how to trust in a healthy, God-willed way. We can overcome seemingly insurmountable obstacles. We can learn something new altogether that we may have never learned had it not been for the need for forgiveness. That was a long sentence, I know. I apologize. My point is that forgiveness should not in any way open the door for more opportunities to offend. Even without forgiveness, offenses may occur. And this not to say that we should feel free to hurt someone again because we know that person will forgive it. Likewise, God does not give us grace so that sin may abound.

Forgiveness gives us a chance to start over and try it again with gained KNOWLEDGE. Sure, it’s not practical that the EFFECTS of our offenses are canceled out completely. Truly a ball will roll if we push it hard enough. How beautiful that God would teach us how to make the ball stop, though.

Today, I am the result of complete and undeserved forgiveness. For some of my offenses, I may never comprehend their impact. But I accept and am overjoyed with the impact of God’s grace. I will never be the same again. And that is EXACTLY the point. Exactly.

To forgive requires accepting change within ourselves as well as anticipating it in others. We cannot force change on others, but we can definitely help them embrace it by giving them the chance. Sometimes the confidence in that new start gets the ball rolling in the right direction.  It will definitely free our own hearts from the prison of bitterness.  It might be the scariest step we’ve ever had to take, but taking that last step will change us forever.