This has been a hum dinger of a week off. No, I don’t ever use that word. I’m sitting here watching Princess Diaries II thinking about my future.
Talked to my dear friend Des for a long time tonight. I miss her so much. She’s been one of the most understanding and supportive people in my life. Hopefully soon we’ll get to hang. I love my family and friends here. There are so many far away from me now though. Guess that’s what happens after years of making new friends in different places and moving forward in life. From Washington to Montana to Colorado to South Dakota to Oklahoma to Nashville to Pennsylvania to Maryland to Virginia to Florida to here in North Carolina. And that’s only the beginning. I’ve made friends with those that live in Italy and Austria and Australia and Russia. Even though I don’t keep up with all those that have touched my life, I’m so thankful for them.
Tonight I hung out with the teens from my church for a Superbowl Party (where we didn’t really watch it.) I have been fighting an awful sinus headache all week, so I mostly just sat and observed them all go crazy with super mario bros, hardcore screamo dancing and leaping stairs games.
I’m so tired. I am so tired of trying to make a difference when no one seems to want the difference. Apathy will not take over me; I have a mission from God. I consider that exhaustion is one of those negative places where it’s easy for the enemy to gain foothold. It makes everything bigger and louder and more painful than if I were well rested. So I’m tired. I wanna run away SO so much. I want to hide in the mountains for months. I want to surround myself with those closest to me. I want to bury my head in someone’s chest and just cry. But I have responsibilities and a call here for now.
God, help us push through amidst all these negative, tough things.