One of the last from here?


This will probably be one of my last blogs typed on this computer.  Sadly (well, not SO sad), my laptop is seeing its last days.  I have done so much on this….from creating my webpages to organizing/planning music for our worship team to having ultra important conversations with friends to recording my CD.  It’s been a good ride, but now it’s time for a new one.

I ate a really good meal tonight.  Surprisingly, at work.   I found Thai Chicken California Pizza at Lowes!  Oh man, I haven’t had that stuff since I lived in D.C., and it was FANTASTIC.  Best meal I’ve had in awhile. Most days I eat to get by and survive.  Tonight, I indulged. 

Anyhow, it’s been a few days since I have blogged, which is abnormal, but I’ve been mulling over some pretty heavy stuff.  God is good.  I must give Him praise, no matter what!  I’m proud of my parents.  I’m so proud of something they have done recently.  It has healed so much in my heart.  I am also so proud of my friend John.  He got hit with some rough news this week, but he’s giving glory to God and trusting that there is still a plan for him. 

There’s been a huge debate in my head about where I am headed career-wise as well as geologically.  I guess in that respect I can empathize with John right now.  There’s this “theory” that a lot of people I know have:  God doesn’t have a distinct, one road plan for us.  Such as in who to marry or what job to take or where to move, etc.  I used to be 100 percent against that.  Then I went the other way and was 100 percent for it.  Now I’m kinda in the middle.  Which may be more accurate.  I don’t know what to do for a career.  I’m the runaway bride of careers.  I can do office jobs, but they don’t last long.  I absolutely love children, which is why I love being a nanny.  The kids grow up though.  (Which means I gotta move on.)  Teaching would probably be a good route for me, but to be honest I fear it taking over my “other life.”  The “worship leader/creative/musical artist” life. 

Perhaps I’m completely believing lies, but I think that God has a specific plan for me that involves my career.  I feel I’m on the verge of it;  I’ve got my “V”.  Now I need the other V for a “W”!  (if you haven’t seen Runaway Bride, you probably won’t get that)  I’ve come to a decision about staying here, though (geographically).  I’m staying…at least for another year.  I can usually tell when it’s time to flee…well, or move.  It’s not.  I can’t lie; it’s SO tempting.  I’d love to move to Nashville (or near it) and surround myself with composers and musicians and creative people.  However, I’m not void of that here.  It’s not how I dreamt it, but it exists. 

At any rate, there’s peace in my heart.  I don’t underestimate that God can use any of the choices we make for good.  I don’t think you can “miss your only chance”.  But I think God created us for a purpose…and once we give ourselves over to His will fully, I am trusting that He opens and closes doors to move us through the bends and help us fulfill that purpose. 

And there are two that continue to remain open in some fashion for me.  I don’t understand, but I am willing to keep going through them.


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