This has been a disappointing day. Some things just don’t make sense, and it is frustrating. I trust God. I know He is good and He is walking me through this…I’m just uncomfortable. And uncomfortable on a regular basis makes life kinda loopy. Uncomfortable becomes comfortable, and comfortable shouldn’t be comfortable…so then comes frustration.
Yet I will not give up. I typically get to the point where I am and give up. My emotions take control, feeling unappreciated, unwanted, unable to get ahead….my ambition and spirit are muted by it all, and I give up. All because of lies! I will NOT let this continue to circulate. Marsha Flinchum is having me read this awesome book called The Bondage Breaker by Neil T. Anderson. It. Is. So. Good!
This morning I sat at Mock Tire, waiting for my car to get fixed a/c, and before even opening the book I heard lies. “Don’t read it. It’s pointless. It won’t have anything in there that you haven’t heard or read before. They all say the same mush, and it won’t help me one bit. Why waste time with that book?” Humph! I was tempted to keep the book in my purse. I almost did. Then I decided, “I’m too bored NOT to read.”
Chapter One passage that stood out: “I often warn people who make appointments to talk with me that they will “hear” messages such as ‘Don’t go; he can’t help you,’ — or they will think disruptive thoughts in first-person singular like ‘I don’t want to go,” or ‘I’ve tried this before and it didn’t work.’ ”
I’ve only read one chapter, but I’ve already learned LOADS about my previous thought habits that I need to change. Fight Satan with truth, he says. Sounds familiar, eh? Yeah, I HAVE heard it before, but putting it into practice has not become a habit. I realize I believe the lie. This is the SECOND time within a week that I have been told “stop shortchanging yourself.” I don’t doubt God…I doubt who I am in God! I become weak and victimized because I FEEL I have no control. I give control to God, but with it I allow myself to think I have no power in the situation at all. NOT TRUE AT ALL!
“There is no need for the Christian to defeat the devil. Christ has already accomplished that. We just need to believe it,” Neil says. There is power in my belief! Pieces just completely came together for me as I read that. I know how good God is, and I know He will provide, but I walk around thinking “I’m not worth it, I’m incapable, I always get the short end of the stick.” Pshh, Satan must have been having a hay day with that. No more, Evil Defeated One! I KNOW THE TRUTH. And the truth is that I will find a job and I am worth it, and I am going to accomplish great things. Badabing. Take that, Liar Liar Pants on Fire. 😛