The light coming from my TV is flashing in my darkened room like some kind of beacon. I’ve been staring at it for too long, and now it’s all fuzz and motion. Another storm just passed my house with winded fury, but thankfully there was no running into the grandparent’s walk-in closet with pillows to escape the cyclone on this occasion.
I continue to work through the book that Marsha encouraged me to read (The Bondage Breaker); it turns on lighbulbs in my brain. It motivates me to not give up on this mission, and it reminds me of the war being waged around me. In my dad’s Sunday School class this morning, we heard Beth Moore talk about that war…and how Satan fights hard to get us NOT to serve the only true God. It’s as though my eyes have been opening more and more to all the lies I’ve been believing that slowly tempt me to discredit God and His awesomeness.
Andi has a love story. So far the pages are unbelievable. Every once in a while I will be overwhelmed with regret of some of those pages. It feels like more of a tragedy, but here and now I want anyone, ANYONE, who reads this to be clear on this: what has been done is forgiven, what I have chosen I accept, and what was lost was never ours anyhow. It’s ending might not be some traditional storybook paragraph, but to be sure God will have honor and glory in it. I choose HIM! I choose, single or married.
I have let these demons torture me with ideas that are NOT EVEN TRUE for too long. Okay, so I’m really exhausted right now..it’s late. So I’m gonna end this here. Basically, I’m not giving up on my love story, but I know it’s not a typical one. And that’s okay with me. 🙂