My brain is reformatting this afternoon. Once again I’ve filled my schedule until it squeaks and moans, spilling out of the cracks. It’s not difficulty in saying no, it is not knowing when to say no. In actuality, I’m a better judge of time than in my previous years. I’ve gone both extremes, not committing to responsibilities due to fear of failing all the way to over-committing due to fear of missing out on opportunities. There is a happy balance in there somewhere. I’m learning…
Sometimes we don’t realize that we’ll be in over our heads. Perhaps we don’t foresee where it will take us. Some commitments are just harder to keep than others. But this chapter isn’t about saying no. It’s about saying yes.
I heard a sermon today on giving God everything. A metaphor was presented: if you buy a house but then the previous owners state “well, we like this house so we’d like to remain here; maybe you can have a couple of rooms and paint a wall.” That’s unheard of. You bought that house. It is YOURS to do as you will. Likewise, God bought us with a price. If we accept that, then seriously….
Why are we holding back things from God’s care and ownership?
For me, it is a trust issue. First of all, I recall all those times I’ve “promised” God this, that, or the other and then failed to follow through. After a while it just gets easier not to try at all. Beyond that, though, it’s this fear of the worst happening. I really struggle to relinquish full trust over to God, even though He created me and is the ultimate caregiver. The Bible has much to share proving God’s faithfulness and virtue.
There is a such a blessing in fully committing everything to Him. I gotta be honest that it has been scary at moments. The unknown outcome possibilities and hardships have flashed in my mind like Final Destination visions. I know, I know, that’s a bit dramatic, but we can come up with some pretty fantastical ideas when we are scared. Also, I banter around when I’m unsure about saying yes to something. I’ll focus on everything else I am sure about so that I can feel accomplishment, but if there is a foggy outcome I resist all-out commitment. It causes me a shudder thinking about what opportunities I have lost. God is so good, though….He is able to work around all that. 🙂
So I’m committing to committing my every day to my Maker. Whatever that entails. First thought of the day to last thought before I fall into dreamland. It’s about time this fear of “yes” stops controlling my days.
**Photo by The 10 Cent Designer