You are so holy and just. You are so merciful and ubundantly graceful. Your love and compassion blanket me. Your tenderness and discipline are pure. You are the healer and the revealer. You are my rock when I am shaken and you are my joy when I am saddened. You are the peace that fills my mind when all around me spins me blind. Your diligence exceeds mine. Your faithfulness astounds me. You court us with unabashed affection. You know how bleak I feel, how weak I feel, the pain that makes my heart reveal that something has pierced me deeply, and that I cannot see clearly. God, without you I am empty. Without you, I fall swiftly. Father, come and fill me. I need you to hold me. I know you will never leave me, even after I have been so distant. You keep chasing after my heart; you don’t stop to weigh the cost, because it was covered with your Son’s blood. God, I am calling out to you, because I know you follow through. You never fail, you never waste the tears I spill. God, you made me. You know what pains me. And the only way to begin the heal is to give it all to You.
Until I come to the point where I can relinquish every piece of my heart and my plans to God’s will, they will fail in the end. If I pray for the things that I desire selfishly, God may allow them or I could push and shove them to occurance. However, the effect may be more heartbreak than if I had released it all to God’s care. It is the hardest lesson I ever had to learn. But God was there when I turned to Him and brought him all of my brokenness. And He turned my tears into blessings. Today, I have so much to be thankful for…and I deserve none of it. But all glory to God for the restoration of my life. He is a mighty redeemer! He can provide healing in full to the willing.