A Letter to My Single Friends

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Dear friends that are still searching for a mate,

You have been on my heart all week.  I know I am not single any more, but there are a few things I want you to know and believe.  You are enough.  You are loved.  You have great purpose.  You are worth the wait. 

I married my sweetheart at the age of 30.  He is one of my greatest blessings.  My dating experiences prior to my husband were, well, complicated and confusing.  When I turned 30, I thought I might be single for life.  I felt my age weighing on me like a ton of bricks.  I was tired of visiting various young adult programs at churches, and I was really sick of being reminded that “there was still time.”. As much as I loved my married friends, it was hard to be around them.  Every wedding made me sadder, and every new baby made me feel emptier.  I know I should have just been happy for my friends, but during the wait for my mate, I began to believe many lies.  I thought I wasn’t worth it.  I thought maybe God didn’t care about my dreams. I thought maybe I had made too many bad choices.  None of these were true.  If you question your worth, read Psalm 139.  Every word of this passage in the Bible is true.  God used mentors and friends and family and kept me living a full life. They helped me find activities and ministries to put my energy and passion into. I started shifting my focus off of me and onto the Kingdom of God.  I knew I wanted more in life, and  I felt like God had more for me.  I prayed about it and I prayed for my future husband.  Somewhere in the middle of my sadness and busyness, I started to trust the Lord.  He kept assuring me that He had not forgotten me, and that my dreams and desires were important to Him.  Regardless of what life brought, He would be faithful and stay by my side and walk me through every heartache and difficulty.  A few short months later, I was in a relationship with my husband and in less than a year we were married. No regrets for this wait.  He was worth it, and he showed me I was worth it too.

Today I am facing another heartache.  I am facing the possibility that I might be losing another baby.  I had a miscarriage 3 years ago, and it caused so much pain and sadness in my heart.  The lies started to mess with my head once again.  Perhaps I wasn’t worth motherhood.  Maybe God had forgotten me. Maybe there was something really wrong with me. However, God provided so many loving people that supported me and cared for me afterwards.  They reminded me of God’s goodness and His presence.  The Lord showed up big time.  He comforted and then I got pregnant and have an awesome and healthy son Levi!   I had my first doctor’s appointment yesterday for another pregnancy, and I was nervous going into it.  The measurements are not adding up, and they didn’t see a baby in the ultrasound. It could be I am not as far along as we thought, or it could be that I am losing the baby.  I have prayed for this baby since before I knew I was pregnant.  I long to meet him or her and watch this child grow and have Levi be a great older brother.  I will continue to pray that this baby is growing just the way babies should. 

Whatever the outcome, though, I know God is walking with me, that He loves me and wants to help me with my desires.  I have a full life and I have redemption and God is enough.  If I lose this baby, I will cry and cry and cry.  My heart will break.  But God will mend it.  And I know I have a husband that loves me regardless and that will also comfort and support me through it.  I had to wait a long time for my husband James, but God’s timing was perfect.  James is my partner in everything.  He works so hard for our family and shows us love everyday.  I am very grateful for God’s ways.  I haven’t always made the best of choices, but God’s provision has always been incredible. 

Not all of us married people have necessarily gone through what you have gone through.  Some of us have experienced your heartaches and loneliness. But all of us need the same thing you do:  complete satisfaction in the Lord. No matter what the circumstance, you can trust Him.  Let Him be enough.  Let the Lord show you your worth, and remember that you are worth the wait…. and the wait is worth it.  Read Psalm 139. Post it on your wall as a reminder.  Don’t stop living your life in the wait.  Follow the Lord, and let Him provide for you.  Work and learn and put your hands to things that matter.  Love people.  You will not regret it.   I cannot promise you that everything will turn out the way you imagine or hope, but I can promise you that you won’t go through it alone.  Expect to be blown away by God’s goodness.

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